I'm sure you've heard the old ad lib: "Lose weight, Feel Great"; they don't bother to tell you you'll feel like shit in between that saying!
All this pain and sweat and I feel like I haven't lost a thing, I might've even gained and it's got nothing to do muscle mass --- so unless I'm pregnant from a mysterious guest coming into my room at night that I don't know about, this so-called "cutting back and exercise" is not working.
Not sure I've mentioned in my last entry but I added Chia Seeds to the regime and the jury's still out on if it's making a difference. I put them in this week's dinner selection which includes Mountain Biscuits {Sesame Seeds & Chia Seeds}, Hot Dogs and White Corn {Chia Seeds}; plus I'm eating the peppers before every meal since people claim that it speeds up the metabolism....
Again I'm criticized about my schedule by my mother. Is nothing good enough?! She now says that because I'm home all day eating that I'm not getting results. "Once you're on a schedule instead of sitting at home and eating you'll see the difference.
Now I know you might think that she has a point and she does --- that's not the issue here. Ma has been like this since I was little: it's the WAY she says things that makes me feel inferior and that I'm not trying at all! I don't know why I even keep running to her with my thoughts if she's gonna do this every time. Just now she got the nerve to argue with me about a TV star playing a Disney Villain claiming that the live picture wasn't real. I had JUST looked the person up and the pic wasn't altered in any way.
She wants to be right --- apparently it gets her through her day.
Speaking of days, adding the weights for the 6-day workout just made my underarms look a bit misshapen. I'm not sure if I'm applying the cream Fat Girl Sleep in the right way or it's not targeting the spot in which it's needed....I'll make sure tonight that I put it only in that one spot.
I'll keep you posted.
Tuesday, July 18, 2017
Sunday, July 16, 2017
CHANGES
I have noticed a change.
Maybe small to some people, but I've been Obese my whole life --- I'm taking what I can get at this point. I think it's been close to 2 weeks since I began my training on my underarm flab and I'm seeing some puckers in them. I was right to use the 3 lbs for them; Ma thought 5 lbs would work better but I knew enough of my body that I'll stick with it longer if I go to the beginning instead of intense Cardio.
My weight gain stemmed from different sources --- depression was part of it --- my Ma informed me that since I idolized my Dad so much; and he was Homer Simpson Portly that I followed his example.
I wanted SO badly to bond with him that I put my own health in jeopardy.
I believe that I'm an influence currently for my Ma, as she made a life-changing decision of her own. She has struggled with her own addiction of smoking as far back as I can remember. She has greatly improved from my childhood because she used to smoke a pack a day; when Ma now decided to quit fully she was smoking 4 cigarettes a day.
I had to punish myself for not going anywhere yesterday when I was supposed to. Due to unforeseen circumstances {i.e. College fowl ups --- you take your pick on why I'm upset if you remember the process of that}, I forced myself to do 30 squats since I was already cooled down from my earlier workout. A few days ago, I drank 3 bottles of water {adding to my already 5 bottle-count} because I ate a whole bag of fries.
Tomorrow will be better.
I workout only 6 days a week and use Sunday as "a day of rest" to let my muscles repair.
It's gonna get hectic once I start classes but I'll try to keep up my entries.
C U Soon.
Maybe small to some people, but I've been Obese my whole life --- I'm taking what I can get at this point. I think it's been close to 2 weeks since I began my training on my underarm flab and I'm seeing some puckers in them. I was right to use the 3 lbs for them; Ma thought 5 lbs would work better but I knew enough of my body that I'll stick with it longer if I go to the beginning instead of intense Cardio.
My weight gain stemmed from different sources --- depression was part of it --- my Ma informed me that since I idolized my Dad so much; and he was Homer Simpson Portly that I followed his example.
I wanted SO badly to bond with him that I put my own health in jeopardy.
I believe that I'm an influence currently for my Ma, as she made a life-changing decision of her own. She has struggled with her own addiction of smoking as far back as I can remember. She has greatly improved from my childhood because she used to smoke a pack a day; when Ma now decided to quit fully she was smoking 4 cigarettes a day.
I had to punish myself for not going anywhere yesterday when I was supposed to. Due to unforeseen circumstances {i.e. College fowl ups --- you take your pick on why I'm upset if you remember the process of that}, I forced myself to do 30 squats since I was already cooled down from my earlier workout. A few days ago, I drank 3 bottles of water {adding to my already 5 bottle-count} because I ate a whole bag of fries.
Tomorrow will be better.
I workout only 6 days a week and use Sunday as "a day of rest" to let my muscles repair.
It's gonna get hectic once I start classes but I'll try to keep up my entries.
C U Soon.
Saturday, July 15, 2017
SCHEDULE
I keep thinking on it.
Did my ex-best friend pity me or was she mocking me when she told me that she was engaged? The reason why I'm probably dwelling is because I feel like my life's not where I want it to be.
So many dreams in my youth period, now in my adult years it's all about revenge----how I'm gonna get back at all those that screwed me over according to my unspoken rules that even I don't know what they are; all I know is how it affected me in that moment and how much damage I wanted to cause physically. But since I don't do Jail, I have to be creative about punishing them.
Case in point, when I have my mega business where I hire people not just from their resumes. I have an excellent memory in regards to faces so when they come through my doors, the gloves come off. I'd also like to be so powerful that they can't not only get the jobs or careers they want; they won't be able to move up and out of their current job----just like how they pushed me down and out of the way and gave promotions abound to people that can't even SPELL the words "Ass Kisser".
I know I'm supposed to forgive them, however my soul was cut deep on the count of being so fragile.
Moving on for now, I looked up more info about jump-starting my metabolism and more exercise tips for bedtime.
It goes as follows for right now:
Morning~
Walk Dog - 15min
Simple Fit Board - 2min
Weights @ 3lbs each - 2min pull-ups, 4min underarm strengthening {2min on each arm}
Lunges - 1 min
Evening~
Squats - 10-count
I would state my food control here, but it's too complex and keeps changing....I WILL say that beets, peppers & sesame seeds aren't the only things added; I'll be doing that Green Tea Extract along w/ the Green Coffee Bean Extract I'm currently taking + to keep up the pepper intake, I'm thinking about cutting those into snack pieces like carrots and have 2 of them during each meal.
No clue if these changes will work for the food but I see major improvements in my arms at least so it's not a waste.
Here's looking @ a Cruise and Marti Gras next year!
Did my ex-best friend pity me or was she mocking me when she told me that she was engaged? The reason why I'm probably dwelling is because I feel like my life's not where I want it to be.
So many dreams in my youth period, now in my adult years it's all about revenge----how I'm gonna get back at all those that screwed me over according to my unspoken rules that even I don't know what they are; all I know is how it affected me in that moment and how much damage I wanted to cause physically. But since I don't do Jail, I have to be creative about punishing them.
Case in point, when I have my mega business where I hire people not just from their resumes. I have an excellent memory in regards to faces so when they come through my doors, the gloves come off. I'd also like to be so powerful that they can't not only get the jobs or careers they want; they won't be able to move up and out of their current job----just like how they pushed me down and out of the way and gave promotions abound to people that can't even SPELL the words "Ass Kisser".
I know I'm supposed to forgive them, however my soul was cut deep on the count of being so fragile.
Moving on for now, I looked up more info about jump-starting my metabolism and more exercise tips for bedtime.
It goes as follows for right now:
Morning~
Walk Dog - 15min
Simple Fit Board - 2min
Weights @ 3lbs each - 2min pull-ups, 4min underarm strengthening {2min on each arm}
Lunges - 1 min
Evening~
Squats - 10-count
I would state my food control here, but it's too complex and keeps changing....I WILL say that beets, peppers & sesame seeds aren't the only things added; I'll be doing that Green Tea Extract along w/ the Green Coffee Bean Extract I'm currently taking + to keep up the pepper intake, I'm thinking about cutting those into snack pieces like carrots and have 2 of them during each meal.
No clue if these changes will work for the food but I see major improvements in my arms at least so it's not a waste.
Here's looking @ a Cruise and Marti Gras next year!
Thursday, July 13, 2017
START
I was thinking long and hard about life after my Dad.
I'm still lost and I know I'll always be just that.
These postings will basically be my bitch-fest towards my new life changes: restarting college, my new diet and exercise routine, my permanent sexual drought {who knows}....
And towards my Mother --- what influences do I have?
Having a revelation, because my parents provided everything that involves spending of cash; I never had to work much for anything {I'm not counting my 10-year retail work}.
I guess now will be the start of change.
I'll begin with my diet. When I was with Dad, HE was top priority when it came to a balanced meal due to his decrease in health. I had to make sure he ate so sometimes because of wack hours in the shelter we were staying, I went without breakfast but made it up with lunch. Mostly, I lost weight because I focused on someone other than myself.
I have now begun a "Fat Girl Stratagem" which means that I have to work on my body VERY slowly in regards to exercise. Walking was what I was doing after his death in VA then the move back to MD plus it was just as easy to pick back up since I can't legally drive at the moment.
In addition, I now do 3 lb weights to thin my "wings" under my arms once my early walk with Mom's dog. I pick up the groceries from Giant near Wheaton Mall on foot wearing full exercise garb complete with a jacket meant for joggers during bad weather days. I get enough stares, all judgmental. For food intake, that so-called portion control is a lot harder than it sounds.
We'll see what happens.
I'm still lost and I know I'll always be just that.
These postings will basically be my bitch-fest towards my new life changes: restarting college, my new diet and exercise routine, my permanent sexual drought {who knows}....
And towards my Mother --- what influences do I have?
Having a revelation, because my parents provided everything that involves spending of cash; I never had to work much for anything {I'm not counting my 10-year retail work}.
I guess now will be the start of change.
I'll begin with my diet. When I was with Dad, HE was top priority when it came to a balanced meal due to his decrease in health. I had to make sure he ate so sometimes because of wack hours in the shelter we were staying, I went without breakfast but made it up with lunch. Mostly, I lost weight because I focused on someone other than myself.
I have now begun a "Fat Girl Stratagem" which means that I have to work on my body VERY slowly in regards to exercise. Walking was what I was doing after his death in VA then the move back to MD plus it was just as easy to pick back up since I can't legally drive at the moment.
In addition, I now do 3 lb weights to thin my "wings" under my arms once my early walk with Mom's dog. I pick up the groceries from Giant near Wheaton Mall on foot wearing full exercise garb complete with a jacket meant for joggers during bad weather days. I get enough stares, all judgmental. For food intake, that so-called portion control is a lot harder than it sounds.
We'll see what happens.
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